Dear Westboro...

The shooting deaths in a Charleston, South Carolina church last week have shocked the world. We know evil exists, but rarely do we see this kind of hatred and blatant disrespect for life. Being a racist killer is one thing. But killing people while they are in church? I really didn't think you could get any lower. Then I heard that Westboro "Baptist" "Church" had plans to boycott the funerals of the nine victims and realized I was wrong. First of all, I'm not really sure who boycotts a funeral. Even the passing of a convicted criminal mastermind is a bit sad in that it is the loss of life. The loss of something magical. Respect for the dead is something generally given to those who are no longer with us.

What Does it Mean to be a Mother?

Mother's day is fast approaching. My thoughts are drawn to the mothers for whom this will be their first holiday spent without their child. Maybe they passed away, due to illness. Or they've moved away, to start a life on their own in a new city.

And my heart is drawn to the mothers who are facing Mother's Day without their own mother. The sense of profound closure and loneliness that haunts them.

Being a mom. What does it mean? I've been a mom since I was sixteen. For eight years I've been a part of this special group of people called mothers.

I remember when I was sixteen and found out I was pregnant thinking to myself, "I can't be someone's mom!" Even back then I understood the gravity of the situation that many people do not. Being a mother to a child is so much more than just giving birth to them and putting food in their mouths.

Being a mother is...

MAKE YOUR OWN LATTE AT HOME

 

Lattes are one of my favorite ways to enjoy coffee. Something about them is soothing and makes me feel fancy!
Here is an easy recipe that will give you a delicious latte at home that you can impress your friends with!

If God Answered My Prayer

I've been a Christian since I was a little girl. I grew up in a Pentecostal church, "backslid" like any good church kid does, and then honestly chose to follow Jesus at the age of sixteen.

My early twenties brought me a lot of grief, questions, pain, mixed emotions. I began to open my eyes to the world as it truly was and not just to the world I saw while I was inside the walls of my church. I began to question what I had believed for so long. I, like many if not all Christians, began to doubt.

To My Friend Who "Can't Wait to Have Kids"

Dear friend,

I love how excited you are about wanting to have kids. I know that seeing my angelic being of a child is enough to make you think that upon having your first kid you will be in for sunshine, rainbows, and a lifetime of happiness. But believe me when I tell you, that once you have your first child, your life is going to change. Forever.

Right now you are living in a land long forgotten to many moms. A land of independence and freedom that you will NEVER again get to experience post-baby. Your heart may feel somewhat of a deep connection with your hubby, depending on the day. But you are about to enter dangerous territory. I'm talking metaphorically cutting your heart out and letting it grow and live outside of your body.

"The Girl That Could Fly" : A Poem About Loving Yourself

This has been a year of self discovery for me. Year 25 of my little sweet life. I've faced some demons that have been lurking for years and years. I've realized things about myself that I disliked and also things that I've loved. The most monumental shift in my thinking over this year has been the change in my thoughts about myself. For a long time I felt like I didn't measure up. Like I wasn't good enough. I was constantly trying, struggling. In a lot of pain. But then I realized that, for all of my flaws, and my work that still needs to be done, I'm alright. I kind of actually love myself. And I'm pretty sure that's okay. Here is a poem I wrote about all of that. Just wanted to share it and hope that it can motivate you too!

"Give Me Back My Gushers!" How To Teach Your Kids To Be Generous

I have a parenting fear. Well, if I had to be honest, parenting is one of my greatest fears, if you haven't already picked that up. It's scary to think that I, (beautiful, crazy, unstable I) should have the responsibility of building a tiny human. I guess that is true for all of us though. No one completely has their lives together and we are all works in progress. Under construction, if you will.

Guilty Mom Sneaking

This morning, I come to you guilty.

Do you see that little face up there? That scowling, adorable face? I took this picture down in Miami at a restaurant called Catch of the Day. This is the look I get a lot when I want his picture.

As I was saying, that scowling face and child calls me mom. I am his whole world. With the exception of the pieces he hasn't given to his daddy, sports and Minecraft. Anyone who knows anything about me knows how much I love my son. And this morning,
I snuck away from him.

The Art of Parenting

Have you ever seen a piece of mosaic art? They usually are colored and can be made of stone, glass, pottery or other materials. What they all have in common is that they are made up of many tiny pieces that combine to make a beautiful whole.


In many ways the mosaic is a metaphor for our lives. Many different individuals combine to make up families, neighborhoods, communities, nations and ultimately, our Earth.

Pick Up Your Mat And Walk

My morning started out like any other. I woke up and tip toed to the coffee pot downstairs, making careful effort not to wake up my sleeping husband or son and thereby limit my amount of peaceful quiet time for personal reflection. I really love my mornings with my books, coffee, and journal. Most days the second I hit the on button on my machine, I hear two feet hit the floor, followed by seeing the precious face of my little boy, but today, I had a few minutes alone. Knowing I needed to get back in touch with my spirit, I have been reading through the book of John. First I took a few minutes to journal a lot of the feelings and anxieties I was already having at seven in the morning. The list was short but full of strife. I have too many options of what to worry about these days. I let the feelings flow and in about fifteen minutes I had listed my chief complaints with this life and felt like my soul was a little lighter.

Saying Goodbye to Last Year

"Oh what fragile things we are.

Skin and bones house glass hearts.."

Those are the first lines of a poem I've been hearing in my head for the past few months but haven't flushed out into anything resembling poetry yet. It resonates with me every time I hurt or hear of someone else hurting.

It's been about five months since I've written anything. Sometimes I don't write because I don't feel like I have anything to say. Sometimes I feel like I'm the least qualified to give any words of encouragement or advice. And sometimes I just wonder if anyone cares. There are a lot of blogs out there in cyberspace.

Did Man Invent God?

I like to consider myself a thinking Christian. A lot of times Christians are thought of as people of blind faith that believe what they believe for no apparent reason other than that they've been told to believe it.

I like to think I'm a little more interested in the truth than that. Maybe a little too interested. I'd like you to take a moment to gaze into the face of this image on the left. This is what I found when I Google image searched for "God".

I suppose this is what man thinks God would look like. Coming down from the clouds with a beard, a flowing gown, rays beaming from him. Always old. Every time. God is depicted as the old man in the sky.



Now, don't get me wrong. I do believe that Jesus is one day going to come in similar fashion, though I can't say exactly what it will look like, but what I'm taking aim at is man's concept of God. Where exactly are we getting these ideas? These images?

Is God something that we've created in our own minds?

Now when you ask this question, you have to look at its reverse first to fully grasp what we are really asking.

Did man make God?

or

Did GOD make man?

The hidden question here is about life's basic origin. It really always comes back to this creation vs. evolution thing. (insert crazy conspiracy theory here).

Atheists or Christian Theists: Who Is More Reasonable?

I'm extremely fascinated by the evolution/creation debate. Questions about the origins of our universe and humanity specifically effect everything about how we live our lives today. The question of whether there is a God who created everything, or if everything is just an accident, is in my opinion, the most important question in the universe. Yes, more important than what drink you want to order from Starbucks.. 

"Uhh.. I'll have a grande, caramel.. hot... fancy.. delicious..."

Deliver Us From Evil

I don't know about you, but there are days when I'm just sick. Sick of the world we live in. Sick of the way it is. You don't get to go one day without some sort of violent crime or horrific disaster filling your line of sight via Facebook, CNN, or the newspaper.

We are all fundamentally "off" on some level. Every single one of us. Some of us more deeply than others. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we can say that our own level of depravity is definitely greater than what we show on the outside. We may not be a serial killer, but how many of us have never had thoughts that could get you arrested had they led to actions. Our consciences bear witness to the fact that we know what we ought to do but yet we don't do it. There is a sort of moral law that is indeed written on our hearts. It accuses us when we do the wrong thing and fills us with guilt. How are we to escape the cycle?

"They demonstrate that God's law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right." Romans 2:15

Parents mistreat their children. Their children grow up to mistreat others. The planet is falling down all around us. No one can get along. Everyone is out for self. The universal struggle.

Now evolutionists would have you to believe that we just evolved and the violence and depravity we experience are a result of our instincts to kill. The strong survive and the weak perish. But I believe it goes deeper than that.

What type of animal if left unloved by it's parents, grows up with a need for affection so deep that he seeks to fill it by any means necessary? I've never seen an animal trying to hit up the local bar or score some drugs on the corner. There is something fundamentally and inexplicably different about us people. No. We are a beast of another kind entirely.

We have these emotional needs. We have this psyche, this "us" that has needs- not just physical- emotional needs. We desire belonging, protection, acceptance, love, mercy as well as goodness. We want justice and peace, yet inside we are bent towards doing only what will satisfy our deepest needs. We hurt others in the process of trying to numb our own emotional pains.

What Does Insecurity Look Like?

in·se·cu·ri·ty

ˌinsiˈkyo͝oriti/

noun

1. 1.

   uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.

   "she had a deep sense of insecurity"

   ;

2. 2.

   the state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection.

   "growing job insecurity"

   synonyms:

   unstable, rickety, rocky, wobbly, shaky, unsteady, precarious;

What I Learned from a Stapler

It's spring break and I have to work, so my son is with me here in my office. He was watching "Shrek, the Musical" (don't ask) on Netflix, but came and started playing with the stapler. Probably not my best parenting decision ever, but I like the little guy to explore his surroundings and figure out how things work. 

The next thing I know, he has lodged a staple deep into his finger and is panicking. He is partly calm looking at the finger, but tears are coming down his cheeks. When I go to remove it, he freaks, and wiggles, and won't let me touch it. 

What Will You Choose Today?

 

Have you ever noticed that gravity doesn't get to decide whether it wants to operate or not?

The water cycle, weather, seasons, even the earth in it's orbit- none of these things get to choose their actions. They operate along fixed laws that are set and don't fail. A lot of our universe operates in this way. Things behave a certain way and they generally stick to that pattern. Some things may operate in ways that seem "chaotic" such as volcanoes erupting or space rocks flying through the sky, but the point remains that they are just moving, they have absolutely no say in whether or not they erupt, or fly through the sky. Animals have choices in some ways. They can choose in a sense I suppose as far as what they want to eat, where they want to walk. But even they, follow in certain patterns, and they don't really show a lot of concern about where they are going or what they are doing, or whether or not they have gone the wrong way or done something wrong.

I've never seen a deer weeping. This is a cute image though.

 

However, we humans are of a peculiar sort. In a universe that operates on fixed laws, we are completely free. 

Now, some people might say that we are "determined" since we are simply "chemicals and a body and nothing more". But anyone who has lived life knows we aren't determined. We have a free choice in what we do every single day.

When we wake up each day, we have thousands of choices before us.

Will we choose to eat breakfast, or not? Will we wake up early to exercise, or sleep in? Will we be grumpy and rush our children, or be kind and understanding?

At work, will we be effective employees, or slackers?

Will we go to the gym after work, or will we go take a nap? Will we smile at our co-workers or keep to ourselves? Wave, or not wave?

Choices.

They are everywhere and they affect us all the way down to the deepest levels in personal questions such as..

Will we choose to daily acknowledge our creator, or live our lives as though he doesn't exist? Setting ourselves up as judge and jury of life.

Will we choose to pursue only the things that will make us happy or will we adhere to a set of guidelines, a moral code of some sort?

$1,000 dollars might make me happy right now, so should I go and steal it from the bank?

No, that would be illegal and that action would have consequences.

Just like robbing a bank has consequences, all of our choices have consequences.

That choice to eat fast food for lunch is one step closer to poor health. The choice to dwell on negative thoughts leads to depression which leads to health issues.

The more I think about our lives and what makes us human I realize that each day is a choosing game.

We have been endowed as humans as truly free creatures, and it is up to us as to how we will use our freedom.

I've often wondered why it seems like God isn't more visible or why he doesn't make his reality more present in the world in an obvious way. Think 10,000 foot Jesus dancing on the lawn of the White House singing a praise song. Or you pray and then POOF!"Hello, I'm Jesus. What can I do for you today?"

I think it is because God has set everything up as a choice. He's given us the free choice of whether we want to come to him and live or refuse to come to him and ultimately pay many costly prices throughout our lives and thereafter.

Living life without God means no hope, no meaning, no moral law, no happiness, no justice, so many things get mucked up, confusing and painful. We have no hope of healing for our hurts and needs.

Surely this isn't the choice we were made to make. The Bible says that people who reject God, do so of their own choice, even though God has made himself plain to them. (Romans 1:18)

When you look at our world, you see that you do indeed get a choice. To believe God is behind it, or to contrive an alternate "story" of how things got to be just so.

The choice is yours of whether you would come to him and live, or make a different choice.

But that is just it. The choice is yours. God will not appear in bodily form in the sky with a disco ball to appease us and help us make our choice to follow him. That would be forced devotion. We would follow and worship out of fear, not out of love. When we come to God as revealed in his Word and choose to believe him as opposed to man made, relative, just-so stories, our eyes are opened, and our minds renewed. The life he gives is the good and beautiful life and one worth choosing every day.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This[b] is the key to your life."

 

Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Just thinking..

Maybe We Should Take the Autopilot Off

Here's the thing.

I wish I was schedule-ey. I wish I was more disciplined. 

I'm not good at diets. I'm not good at sticking to exercise routines. My house is frequently in disorder. 

At this point, I could go ahead and blame it on my personality. So, I think I'll do just that!

I'm an "artist" type.. Which is code for "I'm all feely, emotional, crazy, creative, and messy". I like to do a lot, explore a lot, try a lot, and go non-stop, which can leave me frazzled, disorganized, and drained. Just trying to make it through the day.

But, alas!

Such is the life for a creative type like myself.

Dear Models on the Cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition

Hey ladies,

You don't know me and I don't know you. However, you have impacted my life. And I want to let you know.

I'm 24. I live in South Carolina. I have a son who's 7 and a husband who is 28. We are an average family I guess.

I don't know much about you.

I know you're beautiful, on the cover of a magazine, you're pretty tan, you seem happy in the picture, I'm sure you're having a great time...oh! And I also know what your butt cheeks look like. They're pretty, I guess. Very, um fat free? But yes. I know what your rump looks like. All three of you.

Which is strange because I don't know you. Or anything about you. I don't know what your favorite foods are. What you like to do with your free time. Your hopes and dreams. Your cares and fears. Nothing.

3 Ways to Deal with Disappointment

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It's Wednesday and I'm working today. Usually that would be normal, but today, it's very un-normal and very disappointing.

You see, I had taken today off from work to go on a field trip with the little Mr. and due to the rain, it was "postponed".

Even though it was just a field trip, I was looking forward to today. This morning I was singing and woke him up in an annoying way making it apparent that I was WAY more excited for this day than he was.

Now in the car, after getting the word, I tried to talk my son into a peaceful mood before dropping him off for a regular, educational, non-trip-filled school day. I started to think about this thing called disappointment and why we encounter it, and how we can deal with it when it inevitably comes knocking.

Don't Worry About a Ting, Ya!

You know the hardest thing about life?

It's that it is both incredibly good,
and incredibly evil.

Incredibly awesome,
yet horribly flawed.

Full of love and beauty,
yet full of pain and suffering.

It's so wonderful and brings you so much joy,
and yet can make you cry so hard.

I Climbed a Mountain- and I Turned Around

Yesterday I, along with six other women, climbed a mountain. Looking Glass Rock to be exact.



It was exhausting and challenging! 6.4 miles in length. Awesomely fun and definitely something I would recommend.



Any pain we felt trying to get up the mountain was worth it for the view!



You definitely don't realize how small a person actually is until you see mountains like this.



There were fun times had by all. Several stops each way on the trip, since of course, women have to use the bathroom a lot. There was falling, coffee, laughter, music, food, awkward situations that make you laugh, bonding and anything else you can expect to have on a girls trip. It was great!





Thank you to Laura, the fearless leader, who decided to share all of this beauty by inviting us to come on this hike!





I guess this is the part where I introspect about the trip...

It was hard. We moved at a fast pace as there was this mountain lady leading us that climbed like a pro in her fancy boots. I enjoyed challenging my body- since I've been on this new health kick/thing where I actually work out on a regular basis.

There were a lot of times where I didn't want to walk. I just wanted to stop. And take it all in.








It was just all so beautiful. I love beauty in nature. It was also ridiculously quiet! Sometimes it is just nice to get away to a peaceful place. A place untouched by technology and change. Going somewhere where you just feel rugged and connected to the Earth, not so detached and sterile.

On top of the mountain I just couldn't help feeling this feeling... We were describing it as an adrenaline rush/strange sensation of wanting to jump (not in a crazy way, but in an exhilarating way.) The rock slants down and it seems like there isn't much holding you up there.

I think that feeling is just the feeling of being alive. Knowing this is it, you're here. Breathing in and out and knowing that you exist. It feels, like this...

Part of the Rebellion

Last night we finally watched Catching Fire, the second in The Hunger Games movie series. It was totally awesome. To me at least. My husband sat in the corner halfway asleep. Anyways, I couldn't help feeling this ultra surge of girl power and energy rising within me as Katniss essentially helped to begin the rebellion that would liberate the districts from the oppressive power of The Capitol. Something about oppressed people rising up and saying, "HEY! We're not taking this anymore, treat us like human beings!" speaks to me. As I think it does to all of humanity.

We all have the desire to "rise above" or "revolt" against tyranny. Somewhere deep within us is a strong desire to fight for what is right. We may be too afraid to actually do anything, but when we see this attitude illuminated on the big screen, we can't help but love it.

Pushin' Purity

I'm sorry!

No I'm not.

I may seem like the broken record, always going on and on about saving sex for marriage. Nerdy Christian girl with her whacked out ideas!

So sue me.

But I have seen OVER and OVER the devastating effects of pre-marital sex and it is enough to make me realize that there is a serious problem going on all around us and not many people are noticing!

American Atheists Want to Ban Cross from 9/11 Memorial Museum - My Thoughts

http://www.christianpost.com/news/atheists-want-cross-removed-from-ground-zero-museum-52837/

I recently read this article about how the American Atheists have been making stands against religious displays around the country.

This article is mainly about how they do not want to have displayed in the 9/11 Memorial Museum, a cross made of steel beams that was left erect after the world trade center towers fell.

This cross was left standing and was not created or welded. During the time of the search and rescue and after, it was a source of encouragement for people who were a part of that effort.

This One's for the Girls

Today I have a few girls on my heart. I usually do have a few that I think about. The heavy assault on womanhood is apparent as I watch SO many of my loved ones struggle with things. I just felt like writing this today as sort of like a letter from God to me and all women. This is what I feel like I've heard him saying to me throughout my life. It's a little jumbled and hodgepodge, but it's the thoughts I want to get across.
Hopefully you can take something away from these words.

Through the Fog

Existential torture

to be a ship out on the ocean

tossed to and fro.

I feel the weight of nothing

pressing in upon my every thought

and I am crushed underneath.

The anger, the rage

the wasted days

the dizzy daze

the hopeless haze.

This has no purpose

that has no meaning

my thoughts are held captive

my emotions and my dreams

my loves and my pleasures

are dashed upon the rocks

of the world you paint

you dream

you created.

I don't want to be a part of your world anymore.

I can and will break free.

To the place where truth can be.

And I can be

me.

God grant me...

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 

Enjoying one moment at a time; 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life 

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

What I Learned About Greener Grass

The names and identities of people or locations have been purposefully left out of this blog to protect names and identities of people and locations. While I intend this blog to provide satirical humor and enjoyment for the reader, I do not intend to offend anyone. If you know who these people or locations are, please do not mention their names in any comments. Thanks!

I'm an interesting person. At least, I think so. One of the things that makes my life so interesting- to me- is the variety of situations that I have a tendency to get myself into. Take this last six months for example.

Why Is There So Much Pain and Suffering?

If God exists, 

Why is life on Earth full of pain and suffering?

There is much to be said about this subject, but for now, I just wanted to share a great video I just watched on YouTube.

Join Oxford math professor John Lennox at The Veritas Forum, as he talks a little about this issue. 

Also feel free to check out other videos on The Veritas Forum. Very, very, good stuff!

Beautiful, Beautiful Abstinence

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." 1 Corinthians 13:11

As a confused young girl I saw sex as a way to get love and approval from men. I also saw it as a way to let loose and have fun. To indulge your passions and be as free and wild as life allowed you to be. At that age I was in a place where I wanted to do some of the worst things possible to spite whomever it was that was trying to put limits on my freedom.

Fast forward through the heartache, a teenage pregnancy, a spiritual awakening, and you get me today.

A 23 year old mother and wife who has a very different set of views on sexual intimacy.

When I see young girls starting to awaken as women, all I want to tell them is PLEASE, be abstinent. I want to scream it at them. Yell it to them from the mountain.

Stand Strong

"Rejoice in hope, endure in suffering, persist in prayer."

Romans 12:12

One problem I struggle with, is letting my emotions control me. Though being emotionally driven can be good in some cases, it can also lead to my downfall in many others.

For example:

If I have an issue that is bothering me, I tend to get overwhelmed by the size of the perceived obstacle in my way. Feeling like there is NO WAY to get around it because I've tried many times, I get quite stressed, worried, and sad.

I feel like these types of situations come from a lack of trusting my heavenly father, who has promised to take care of me and help me walk through all things.

Weeping, Nightmares, and the Wisdom of God

So I'm sure your first question is probably, "Why has Jessie changed her blog again?" and I can answer that for you reaaaal quick like..

I. get. bored. easily.

I like change! Some people are afraid of it. I'm more afraid  of the static of sameness.

Okay! Moving on..

_______________________________________________________________________

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14

Last night.. was a bad night.

It may be near to that time of the month when women get all extra emotional, which for me sort of seems like an all the time thing. (Maybe I should just accept my super emotional life status, and get a job caring for the elderly, orphans, or something else. I just can't fight this tender heart.. Try as I may). Anyways, Last night was hard. There are a few things I'm struggling with.

One thing in particular.

The ABC's of Motherhood

Since Mother's Day is around the corner, my friend Ashley from the blog Always Ashley asked us if we wanted to contribute a little post about motherhood. Seeing as how I have been a mom for almost seven years now(eek!), I figured I was somewhat qualified to share. I love to give advice! Almost a little too much. So with that being said, here is a little advice on the ABC's of motherhood.

Motherhood is

When the Pressure Builds

 

In life, there are just some times when the pressure builds. 

When things are not easy. When struggles come, whether they be a long-term battle beginning or just daily aggravations. When someone or something pushes in on your personal bubble of peace and tranquility, the pressure begins to build.

There are one only two options.

• To let it build and build and then finally when you are stretched so tight that you can't take it any more, you explode! 
• Or, you can poke a hole in the bubble and let the pressure slowly leak out. 

Thoughts on Hunger, Boston, and Life

You know.. I decided to change the name of this blog from "From the Heart" to "The Silly Goose". I wanted it to be more of a reflection of me as I really am. Silly, goofy, not always trying to be proper. I mean, I like manners and all, but I consider myself down to earth and a little wacko at times.

Since lately I've been writing on a little bit of a larger scale, I have been so critical of my blog design. I've tried to copy the designs of a lot of other people who I think have "fancy" blogs. But I really just want this little space to be MINE. Not a refection of someone else, but of me and my little self. Of my little thoughts and expressions of life.

3 Ways to Love Your Husband Better

This post is inspired by my daily struggle to be the wife that my husband deserves.

 I've been married for four years, five in March, and I'm just starting to understand how much men and women are different and how those differences impact our lives together.

I would be willing to say that at least 95% of my own marital struggles have stemmed from the fact that I am a woman who married a man.

 It's like pink marrying blue, 

a cat marrying a dog,

two totally different types of people coming together to become one.

My husband is a totally different person than anything I've ever experienced as a woman.
He doesn't act like I do,
think like I do,
relate to people like I do
or even speak like I do.

My Post Superbowl Sex Rant

WARNING: 

What you are about to read is a rant from a women who has a viewpoint on sex that may be different from yours. 

Better is One Day: Thoughts on Faith, Doubt, and Life

"How lovely is your dwelling place, oh Lord Almighty. 

For my soul longs and even faints for you. 

For here my heart is satisfied within your presence. 

I sing beneath the shadow of your wings.

Better is one day in your courts.

Better is one day in your house.

Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere."

"Better Is One Day"- (sung by Chris Tomlin) taken from Psalm 84

As a kid I was always comfortable believing in God because that was what my parents taught me to believe. 

Once I got older I learned there were others who didn't share my belief in God. 

Some people thought I was wrong or foolish for believing he existed.

 I started to have doubts. 

Thoughts about Rap and Christianity

The music known as "Rap" and I have an interesting past.

I was brought up in a christian home and my mother closely monitored the music that I listened to. I can't say I remember the first time I heard rap music , but I remember that I liked it. Something about it was very real to me. It drew me in. My mother did not want me to listen to the rap music that my friends listened to as it wasn't really appropriate for my age and the content of the lyrics was mostly sex, drugs, violence and other stuff that kids don't need to think about.

Three Good Reasons to Get That Gym Membership

One of the most commonly made New Year's resolutions is to start a workout routine. 

We all know that eating healthy foods and exercising are important, but with the demands of daily life, we can find ourselves pushing our fitness goals off to the back burner.

If you want to start working out regularly, you have to create space for it in your life and daily schedule. You can choose to allot a set amount of time in the early morning, on your lunch break, or in the late afternoon to spend exercising. This time can be a daily routine or something you choose to do a few times a week. However, once you set that time, be very careful to protect it! If you have to miss your workout due to uncontrollable circumstances, just make sure you catch back up the next day!

Quite Magazine

I've been blogging for a while now.

I'm definitely not a professional yet.

I just write.. from the heart.

Recently, I was blessed with an opportunity to join a team of ladies and be a contributing writer to

Quite Magazine , run by Morgan Harper Nichols. 

Quite Magazine has articles written by women, for women! You can find advice on relationships, faith, life, recipes, health and fitness, beauty tips, movies and television shows, books as well as a fashion column! Quite Magazine will be launching February 1st!! Go to the link listed above to sign up and get free stuff delivered to your mailbox! 
I thank God for this opportunity to use my thoughts and words to benefit others. Please check out the website for yourself by clicking the red words above!

Add Running to Your Life!

My mother is a runner.

She can do four miles on a treadmill that's broken- stuck on a steep incline- like it's nothing. I envy her. Usually when I make it a mile, huffing and puffing all the way, I feel like I've accomplished a huge task. I let people know, "I ran today." I'm so proud of myself! I'm thankful that my mom is a runner, because after I had my son six years ago, when I was ready to resume normal activities and lose the "baby weight", she put me on the same treadmill in her garage and said, "Run." 

I Am Buffalo Chicken: Thoughts on Eating Healthy

1 Corinthians 6:19-20, New International Version (NIV)

19 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

Is the saying "you are what you eat" really true?

If that's the case, then I guess that would make me ice cream, brownies, buffalo chicken, cookies, and macaroni and cheese!

 (Yum!)

Why "ME" Isn't Working

Can I make a confession?

I'm selfish. 

I really try to think about others. I try to think of other people's needs more than my own. I realized something last night. I really really love,

ME.

But I'm not happy with this budding romance. Because the more I love me, the less I love others. The more I love myself, the less I am able to love my husband and son. Let me make an example. 

How to Raise a "Terrific Kid"

This is my son,

CARTER

throwing up his favorite team's (Miami Hurricanes) infamous "U". I have to take a few minutes to brag on him this morning. He got awarded the "Terrific Kid" award this month by his teacher. They give it out to the kid who best exemplifies being a good student and a good person. Basically- to a kid who is... terrific! 

Does God Exist?

This is an interesting title, is it not? 
    
 I'm sure this blog will draw a lot of attention because it poses the question that is in the back of everyone's mind. You  can identify as a Christian, religious person, agnostic, or atheist but we all do feel this lingering question weighing on us from time to time. Even if you have tried to deny it, forget or hide from or ignore it, it is still under there somewhere, begging to be answered. 

Let me preface this blog by saying that I am a 23 year-old high school graduate. 

I've never been to college. All of the knowledge that I've gained on these subjects came from books that I've read (I will list them at the bottom and you can read them, they include information from people who are experts in the fields I will talk about) and it has come from talking to other people and from life experience. I know now more than I did five years ago and I'm sure in five years I will know more than I do now. 

I'm not an expert. I'm a normal person! Well, at least semi-normal. 

But, I didn't make up any of this stuff. Please don't be offended if I say something you don't like, just go research it for yourself. This is just me shedding some light on how I view this subject. If you don't like it, you are free to leave this blog, but I hope that maybe something that you read from little ol' me will cause you to ponder and wonder more about God than you had in the past and maybe possibly be open to exploration of God, The Bible and all that it means to know God. Don't let past experiences, what you think The Bible says, or what someone else has taught you, what your parents taught you, how you saw some Christians act, or Westboro Baptist Church behave (I can assure you that Christians do NOT identify with those guys..), what the current culture says or any other factor that would influence your decisions about God and life in general. It is always best to learn and find out for yourself! 

First of all, I doubt I can answer the question of "Does God Exist?" for you. 

You can be taught any number of things and they can be drilled into your head, but unless you accept the truth of anything, it will not be your own. This is a question we will all have to decide for ourselves at some point in our lives.

It is funny how we are taught a particular faith by our parents as kids, and when we grow up we question it. Some may not, but I have always been a skeptic of things. I have never wanted to believe in things that seemed too good to be true. I'm not sure where I got that quality but it has been one that has both helped me and hurt me in my life.

I was raised in church and as a young girl was taught about God. 

God was a regular part of my life up until about my middle to high school years. Somewhere in there it seems like my thoughts drifted away to other things. As a young girl, you can get distracted by any number of things; boys, clothes, popularity- I'm pretty sure I was distracted by all of them simultaneously. Somewhere in there I experienced the breakdown of my family unit- my parents got divorced. 

Many people who stop believing in God are people who have experienced trauma of some sort and it pushed them into a place of anger and resentment towards any  God that could be out there.

 Now I don't remember pushing God or the thought of God out of my head, I just remember a strong desire to live for myself becoming very real after that event. I guess when you feel threatened you feel pressure to survive, and that was what I was trying to do. Survive. By ANY means necessary. There was a lot broken and wrong with my young heart and the wounds seemed to keep coming. I had a lot of attacks on my heart as a young woman as I think a lot of us do. There is something to be said about that. If you look at women as a whole, it seems like our hearts are under attack constantly. Why is that? 

Anyways, as I continued along my path of trying to find pleasure and happiness, I began being sexually active. Not as active as most, but active enough to get pregnant and become a teenage mom. At this point my mom had remarried a great man whom I love, we had moved, I was in high school and still very much living life on my own apart from serving or acknowledging God at this point. I can't remember if I prayed except for the occasional, "HELP ME!" prayer. My mom was still going to church, but I had mostly rejected God and didn't want to go to church at all. I felt like there was nothing there for me except to have the words ungodly sinner stamped on my forehead. I also dreaded possible embarrassment, boredom and superstitious weirdos. However, as moms have power over there kids (and smart ones exercise it when needed) my mom made me go to church with her and her new husband on a regular basis.

I tuned a lot of it out, 

but while I was there I still paid attention a little bit. I had been taught a lot of things as a kid but I also learned a lot of new stuff about this "God" guy from this new church. It was new stuff that I liked. It was actually worth listening to. So I listened, and as I did I came to understand and know God in a new way.Not as a mean guy in the sky who hated me and who I couldn't please to save my life, but as one who loved me as I was and made a way to save me that I did nothing to deserve. At that point I didn't really have doubts about God's existence, but I did have doubts about whether or not I could keep living my life as I had been. I felt like a complete screw up that was unworthy of any love whatsoever. God seemed to feel differently about me though. So that was the point where I decided to give my life to him and see what he had in store for me. 

I can say that I honestly had a new beginning like The Bible describes.

 I was born again just like it says. Spiritually I came alive and started growing and changing. Just ask anyone who knew me from my youth and they will tell you I am a totally different person. I really couldn't explain how that could just happen to you without saying that God really did do what he said he would do. But that is a different and awesome story that I will tell at another time.

Fast forward the story about four years. I had been attending that same church regularly and living a relatively active and normal Christian life. Something seemed strange though. As I taught my son about the Bible and God and life in general, I felt these weird feelings. I started to feel like a hypocrite because I was telling him things about God that I wasn't quite certain I even believed. 

That was my first experience with doubt. 

It's funny because as a young Christian growing up in church, I never doubted God's existence. It wasn't until I was older and had someone tell me that he was a made up lie, that I started to doubt. I remember the first time I really looked at my doubts and took them head on. I had questions and needed answers. I wondered how, why, when, where and every other possible thing you could wonder about God and his existence or lack thereof. 

Now, I've never been one to just have blind faith and I don't believe that God would want me to lie about how I feel about him. 

He wants us to actually believe him and believe in him, not just pretend we do! So, I went on a search to learn things about this God that I loved and served. This was a search that really helped to actually give me a real faith that I could stand in and believe.

I tell you these things so you can see into the life of a Christian. I don't know who you are or what you are like, but I want you to know that just because someone believes in God it doesn't make them a blind, superstitious dummy or someone who rejects science. 

Now that that has all been said, lets get to the real question.

There are so many things that encompass God and the reality of him. Is he there? Is he not there?

 There really can only be one answer.

 If God is there and he is the one responsible for everything, then we probably should get to know him somehow and find out what it is that he wants from us. If he is there, then all of the atheists are wrong and misguided. Now, if he isn't there, then all of the atheists are right and anyone with a religious worldview of any kind is wrong. Both of the groups can't be right because God either is or he isn't. I had to know the true answer to that question! I couldn't ignore it even for a moment.

I had to at least find a place where I could stand firm.

 I read a lot of books and did a lot of research. I learned about the Bible and it's history. I learned about Astronomy, the Big Bang Theory, Evolution and all kinds of other things. I'm so glad I took time to actually look into those things because a lot of my doubts came from those areas. Areas that I was taking advice and information from other people, but never actually researching myself. For example, the Big Bang Theory, which says that the entire universe- time, all space and matter- was brought into existence in an instant from a single point and produced everything as we know it. As a Christian I always cringed when I was younger if I heard the phrase, the "Big Bang"- Now, I love it! To think that there was nothing, then there was everything, is absolutely crazy and mind blowing! It also lines up with the concept that in the beginning God created... from Genesis 1:1. He spoke, it was. Bang!

Sometimes I start to think that the concept of God is a wild one.

 Too wild and too crazy. But if you look at life in general, is it not WILD AND CRAZY? Are whales and sharks, and birds, love and family, reproduction and sexual functions not absolutely wild and mind blowing? Isn't the fact that we humans are here on this tiny planet orbiting around a nice warm sun that makes our food grow out of the ground and keeps us healthy and alive, not wild? So you really can't say that God seems too crazy because life in general is absolutely crazy. According to The Bible, in the beginning God created the heavens and earth. He spoke, and it was. According to some, there were some sort of elements that reacted to form the big bang, but how can that be possible if there was absolutely nothing before it banged? Where did those pieces come from? And if they came from somewhere else, where did they come from? If everything as we know it was made at the Big Bang, what made the pieces that supposedly caused it to bang? 

Have you ever thought about how much intelligence is everywhere? 

Where did intelligence come from? Certainly not from non intelligent chemicals? It just seems crazy to think that all of the genius we see around us could have just arose from nothing. It can be super trippy to think about. In conclusion, I don't see any issue with the Big Bang theory anymore. I do believe that in the beginning there was nothing and then there was everything. I just believe I know who made it BANG!

Another issue I had was Evolution.

 I love how as a kid I was made to believe that I came from a monkey, when that isn't even a proven fact, just somebody's theory of how we got here. 

If you could show me the process of me coming from a monkey and actually have evidence then fine. But if you have a story that you just "think" is what happened, please just keep it as a thought or a story. Before I go further let me say that I do believe in evolution on a micro scale. there are two types of evolution that I know of: Microevolution, and Macroevolution. Micro is the small changes in one kind of animal over time that result in different breeds and types of that same animal. For example: Wolves, pugs, beagles, pit bull (all dogs with different variations of their traits, but never becoming another animal). Micro evolution has been documented all around us in every species of animals and most famously by Darwin in his book The Origin of Species. Now Macroevolution is another thing entirely. It speaks of one kind of animal changing over time and becoming another animal. For example: lizards into birds, monkeys into people. This type of evolution has never been documented or observed in nature. Some people may have claimed to find the "missing link". One skeleton, or a few bones here or there that they constructed and claimed that it was half monkey and half human, 

but most of that is guessing and trying to put something together that isn't really there. 

In a lot of cases where they found a so called "missing link fossil" it turned out to be only a bone or tooth from one animal like a donkey, or human, or monkey. If humans had come from monkeys over thousands or millions of years, why would we not be able to find thousands of fossils of the in between stages? At least the stage right before we looked like we do today! There should be at least ten or twenty in the world of "in between fossils". But there really aren't any fossils to back up the claim that we came from monkeys. Just because a scientist found a few bones and put them together to look like that missing link, doesn't make it so. 

The theory of evolution is just that- a theory. 

So if we aren't sure that we came from monkeys, or that we all had a common ancestor, where did it all come from? I don't think I can believe that all of the totally complex, intelligent, crazy artistry involved in the tons and tons of animal types and variations all came from one basic organism. That is a lot of intelligence from non intelligent matter. Animals that are made with certain functions that keep them alive, or safe, or help them hunt. Who gave them the ability to adapt? Who gave any of us our abilities at all? In conclusion on this topic I will just say that the theory of evolution is just that. A theory. It lacks evidence. Don't base your life on it. It may be true, or it may not be, but it is worth it to investigate and then make a life decision. 

Next we come to the topic of The Bible. Now, 

The Bile is a HUGE stumbling point for some people. 

They think it's old, outdated, copied and full of errors. Upon further examination you will learn that yes, it is old, but it is actually pretty reliable. Historically- it lines up with what was happening during the time periods that it was written. Many people have started reading The Bible in an effort to prove that it is historically inaccurate and they have failed. Whether you believe in the miracles contained in The Bible or not is something you can decide, but it is historically accurate when it talks about the events happening throughout it's written lifespan and it lines up with what other historians have detailed was happening in history around that time. It also has been preserved like no other book through the ages. 

More manuscript copies are available for The Bible than any other book that we get our history from. 

It also doesn't contain serious errors even though it has been copied to pass it down over time. If there are errors they are grammatical, or punctuation errors. Never are ideas, or thoughts, or the true sentence structures compromised. It would be like if 10,000 people copied the same article today, there would be some errors because we are humans and make errors. I know I make numerous errors when I write (as I proofread this blog for the fourth time. You've probably already found several!). The Bible claims to be inspired by God written by men. Not written by God. He inspired it but it was written by men who make grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. Now I am not going to go into detail about the manuscript copies that the bible has and how there are thousands more written and handed down to us than any other ancient writing ever, I'm going to encourage you to go research it for yourself and see how reliable it really is in it's entirety. 

If you are curious about this God of the Bible, read about him in his book and see what you think. I prefer a more modern translation that presents the words the way that we would talk to each other today, such as the New Living Translation or New International Version. The Bible is long, but so is life for most of us. 

If you really want to have a leg to stand on when you criticize Christians or say that God isn't real then you should probably read his entire book first, that way you have some material. You can't just pull a piece out from halfway through and judge the entire book. Who would do that today and be taken seriously. Everyone knows that you have to get the whole story first before you can fairly judge something. Once you reach the end of The Bible, if you still have no doubt that God is not real, then at least that will be a more researched conclusion than the one you started with. 

If I could sum up this entire message of this blog, it would be 

seek and you will find. 

If you want to know if there is a God than seek him, look through his word, study him and see what you find! If you don't really care to know if there is a God, it might still be a good idea to see what all the fuss is about right? I would say so. Science is not at war with God. If you take the time to free yourself from agnosticism by seeking to know if there is a God you will be shocked at what you can learn. Be skeptical about your skepticism! 

Here is a list of some books that I have read other than The Bible itself that have been very interesting and full of information. 

The Reason for God, by Tim Keller. This is a great book, it reads a little scientific and can be hard to get through but is full of useful information. 

I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist, by Norman Geisler and Frank Turek. This is one of my favorites, it goes over SO many issues that I needed covered in my walk towards a real faith in God. 

The Case for a Creator
The Case for Christ
The Case for Faith, all by Lee Stroble. All awesome, all full of information about the Bible, Science and how it is NOT in a constant battle with faith in God, and just wonderful for any seeker to read.

Please let me know if you have any questions or things that you want to talk about. You can comment here or email me at Jessh629@gmail.com. 

You can ingest information about God and life and come to an educated conclusion on what you believe. Just make sure you have given yourself all of the information first.

Thanks for reading!

Jessie



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