"Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread."
D.T. Niles
I feel burdened by this this morning. So therefore, I must share :)
It could be that I am slightly exhausted this morning because I'm down on sleep this week making me highly emotional, or it could be what I think it is- That God is leading me back to a place I've been before, a place of pain, so I can remember where I came from. Sometimes we get so far ahead, so healed, that we think we can stand on our own two, that we somehow got there by our own know-how. I don't think God wants me to get to a place where I am secure in any thing else except him. I think he wants me to break. He wants me to hunger so I can crave him and his love more and more. If I'm not craving, sometimes I'm not seeking.
So here is a little bit of my brain, splashed on the screen for you to see. I'll even use color to make it just downright pretty!
....................................................................................................................
When you hear me say that I'm a
CHRISTIAN
Or see that I talk about
GOD
PLEASE DON'T
for a second
think that I think
that I am better than you
That I am worthy
Or more moral
or just a better person
in general
because
I DON'T
I despise my "habits"
The things I do
That no one knows
The things that are in my heart
That I want to squash
Just like
Moses
Noah
Peter
These people from the bible
From the records that GOD gave us
They
were sinful
That's why the bible says there is none righteous
Not one
Even King David
A "man after Gods own heart"
as he is called
Committed adultery
then had the husband of his lover killed
You see,
We Christians
aren't perfect
some may claim to be better
or demonstrate it by their actions
that you are beneath them
and under gods judgement
which on one hand is true
but, we all are
You see, there is this thing called
Sin
evil
death.
It came into a once perfect world
created for us
We brought it actually
Man kind
Even though we were created intricately
Designed by a brilliant artist
we rebelled
as we so often do
and chose to do what we thought was right in our own eyes.
Ever
since
then
There has been separation
between us
and our creator
the giver of life and love
That is why we yearn for better
we feel incomplete
we seek satisfaction
we yearn for love
because at one time we were whole
now, only half
we wonder
where did it go?
We have all turned our backs
Chosen to live for ourselves
at one point or another
and he knows it
Our sin
Separates us
from God
How can dirty
filthy
sinners
be ONE
with a holy
pure
God
?
but thankfully
God didn't want to keep us away
he knows we are broken without him
and he wants
what is
best for us
To be
BACK
in a relationship
with him
that sustains
and gives us life
real life
not the stressed out
messed up
chock-full-of-nothing
life we think we want
.........................................................
Does that suprise you?
To know that God
the God
loves you?
Wants you?
Wants to be loved by
you.
Not just Mother Theresa
Not just that Pastor from down the road
but little
old
you..
me too.
To be
BACK
in a relationship
with him
that sustains
and gives us life
real life
not the stressed out
messed up
chock-full-of-nothing
life we think we want
.........................................................
Does that suprise you?
To know that God
the God
loves you?
Wants you?
Wants to be loved by
you.
Not just Mother Theresa
Not just that Pastor from down the road
but little
old
you..
me too.
God sent his son
to die in our place
to make atonement
basically a fine was due
sin racks up a hefty bill in our lives
we have to pay for the wrongs we commit
every single day
except for that
Jesus
was the payment
God accepted the payment of Jesus' death in place of
my
your
our
sin
now we are able to be reconnected
to god
to be forgiven
by the holy one
.........................................................................
I'll confess
I'm broken
I sin
-do wrong
think evil thoughts
am selfish
a combination of all the bad things I do
and have done
make me a complete
and utter
mess.
The times I've been hurt in the past
rejected
When I STILL feel rejection
it can
Eat
me
up
because my heart needs a love
it needs something pure
don't all of our hearts yearn for that?
acceptance
mercy
grace
Thankfully
I've found
everything I need
In a relationship with Jesus
He came
he saw
he conquered the power of sin to destroy me
he set me free
Because of what he did
I am alive again inside
He gives me a love that is never ending
and forgiveness no matter what I do
he gives me purpose
LIGHT in the dark
hope where there was none
and peace no matter what
Through his word
and love
I am made whole.
.............................................
So when I invite you to church
or talk about God
PLEASE
don't see it as me trying to convert you
or make you feel guilty
Just know
that what I've found
has healed my heart
and continues
to heal it
more and more
Like the quote said
I am a beggar
who has found bread.
