Saying Goodbye to Last Year

"Oh what fragile things we are.

Skin and bones house glass hearts.."

Those are the first lines of a poem I've been hearing in my head for the past few months but haven't flushed out into anything resembling poetry yet. It resonates with me every time I hurt or hear of someone else hurting.

It's been about five months since I've written anything. Sometimes I don't write because I don't feel like I have anything to say. Sometimes I feel like I'm the least qualified to give any words of encouragement or advice. And sometimes I just wonder if anyone cares. There are a lot of blogs out there in cyberspace.

Did Man Invent God?

I like to consider myself a thinking Christian. A lot of times Christians are thought of as people of blind faith that believe what they believe for no apparent reason other than that they've been told to believe it.

I like to think I'm a little more interested in the truth than that. Maybe a little too interested. I'd like you to take a moment to gaze into the face of this image on the left. This is what I found when I Google image searched for "God".

I suppose this is what man thinks God would look like. Coming down from the clouds with a beard, a flowing gown, rays beaming from him. Always old. Every time. God is depicted as the old man in the sky.



Now, don't get me wrong. I do believe that Jesus is one day going to come in similar fashion, though I can't say exactly what it will look like, but what I'm taking aim at is man's concept of God. Where exactly are we getting these ideas? These images?

Is God something that we've created in our own minds?

Now when you ask this question, you have to look at its reverse first to fully grasp what we are really asking.

Did man make God?

or

Did GOD make man?

The hidden question here is about life's basic origin. It really always comes back to this creation vs. evolution thing. (insert crazy conspiracy theory here).

Atheists or Christian Theists: Who Is More Reasonable?

I'm extremely fascinated by the evolution/creation debate. Questions about the origins of our universe and humanity specifically effect everything about how we live our lives today. The question of whether there is a God who created everything, or if everything is just an accident, is in my opinion, the most important question in the universe. Yes, more important than what drink you want to order from Starbucks.. 

"Uhh.. I'll have a grande, caramel.. hot... fancy.. delicious..."

Deliver Us From Evil

I don't know about you, but there are days when I'm just sick. Sick of the world we live in. Sick of the way it is. You don't get to go one day without some sort of violent crime or horrific disaster filling your line of sight via Facebook, CNN, or the newspaper.

We are all fundamentally "off" on some level. Every single one of us. Some of us more deeply than others. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we can say that our own level of depravity is definitely greater than what we show on the outside. We may not be a serial killer, but how many of us have never had thoughts that could get you arrested had they led to actions. Our consciences bear witness to the fact that we know what we ought to do but yet we don't do it. There is a sort of moral law that is indeed written on our hearts. It accuses us when we do the wrong thing and fills us with guilt. How are we to escape the cycle?

"They demonstrate that God's law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right." Romans 2:15

Parents mistreat their children. Their children grow up to mistreat others. The planet is falling down all around us. No one can get along. Everyone is out for self. The universal struggle.

Now evolutionists would have you to believe that we just evolved and the violence and depravity we experience are a result of our instincts to kill. The strong survive and the weak perish. But I believe it goes deeper than that.

What type of animal if left unloved by it's parents, grows up with a need for affection so deep that he seeks to fill it by any means necessary? I've never seen an animal trying to hit up the local bar or score some drugs on the corner. There is something fundamentally and inexplicably different about us people. No. We are a beast of another kind entirely.

We have these emotional needs. We have this psyche, this "us" that has needs- not just physical- emotional needs. We desire belonging, protection, acceptance, love, mercy as well as goodness. We want justice and peace, yet inside we are bent towards doing only what will satisfy our deepest needs. We hurt others in the process of trying to numb our own emotional pains.

What Does Insecurity Look Like?

in·se·cu·ri·ty

ˌinsiˈkyo͝oriti/

noun

1. 1.

   uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.

   "she had a deep sense of insecurity"

   ;

2. 2.

   the state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection.

   "growing job insecurity"

   synonyms:

   unstable, rickety, rocky, wobbly, shaky, unsteady, precarious;

What I Learned from a Stapler

It's spring break and I have to work, so my son is with me here in my office. He was watching "Shrek, the Musical" (don't ask) on Netflix, but came and started playing with the stapler. Probably not my best parenting decision ever, but I like the little guy to explore his surroundings and figure out how things work. 

The next thing I know, he has lodged a staple deep into his finger and is panicking. He is partly calm looking at the finger, but tears are coming down his cheeks. When I go to remove it, he freaks, and wiggles, and won't let me touch it. 

What Will You Choose Today?

 

Have you ever noticed that gravity doesn't get to decide whether it wants to operate or not?

The water cycle, weather, seasons, even the earth in it's orbit- none of these things get to choose their actions. They operate along fixed laws that are set and don't fail. A lot of our universe operates in this way. Things behave a certain way and they generally stick to that pattern. Some things may operate in ways that seem "chaotic" such as volcanoes erupting or space rocks flying through the sky, but the point remains that they are just moving, they have absolutely no say in whether or not they erupt, or fly through the sky. Animals have choices in some ways. They can choose in a sense I suppose as far as what they want to eat, where they want to walk. But even they, follow in certain patterns, and they don't really show a lot of concern about where they are going or what they are doing, or whether or not they have gone the wrong way or done something wrong.

I've never seen a deer weeping. This is a cute image though.

 

However, we humans are of a peculiar sort. In a universe that operates on fixed laws, we are completely free. 

Now, some people might say that we are "determined" since we are simply "chemicals and a body and nothing more". But anyone who has lived life knows we aren't determined. We have a free choice in what we do every single day.

When we wake up each day, we have thousands of choices before us.

Will we choose to eat breakfast, or not? Will we wake up early to exercise, or sleep in? Will we be grumpy and rush our children, or be kind and understanding?

At work, will we be effective employees, or slackers?

Will we go to the gym after work, or will we go take a nap? Will we smile at our co-workers or keep to ourselves? Wave, or not wave?

Choices.

They are everywhere and they affect us all the way down to the deepest levels in personal questions such as..

Will we choose to daily acknowledge our creator, or live our lives as though he doesn't exist? Setting ourselves up as judge and jury of life.

Will we choose to pursue only the things that will make us happy or will we adhere to a set of guidelines, a moral code of some sort?

$1,000 dollars might make me happy right now, so should I go and steal it from the bank?

No, that would be illegal and that action would have consequences.

Just like robbing a bank has consequences, all of our choices have consequences.

That choice to eat fast food for lunch is one step closer to poor health. The choice to dwell on negative thoughts leads to depression which leads to health issues.

The more I think about our lives and what makes us human I realize that each day is a choosing game.

We have been endowed as humans as truly free creatures, and it is up to us as to how we will use our freedom.

I've often wondered why it seems like God isn't more visible or why he doesn't make his reality more present in the world in an obvious way. Think 10,000 foot Jesus dancing on the lawn of the White House singing a praise song. Or you pray and then POOF!"Hello, I'm Jesus. What can I do for you today?"

I think it is because God has set everything up as a choice. He's given us the free choice of whether we want to come to him and live or refuse to come to him and ultimately pay many costly prices throughout our lives and thereafter.

Living life without God means no hope, no meaning, no moral law, no happiness, no justice, so many things get mucked up, confusing and painful. We have no hope of healing for our hurts and needs.

Surely this isn't the choice we were made to make. The Bible says that people who reject God, do so of their own choice, even though God has made himself plain to them. (Romans 1:18)

When you look at our world, you see that you do indeed get a choice. To believe God is behind it, or to contrive an alternate "story" of how things got to be just so.

The choice is yours of whether you would come to him and live, or make a different choice.

But that is just it. The choice is yours. God will not appear in bodily form in the sky with a disco ball to appease us and help us make our choice to follow him. That would be forced devotion. We would follow and worship out of fear, not out of love. When we come to God as revealed in his Word and choose to believe him as opposed to man made, relative, just-so stories, our eyes are opened, and our minds renewed. The life he gives is the good and beautiful life and one worth choosing every day.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This[b] is the key to your life."

 

Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Just thinking..

Maybe We Should Take the Autopilot Off

Here's the thing.

I wish I was schedule-ey. I wish I was more disciplined. 

I'm not good at diets. I'm not good at sticking to exercise routines. My house is frequently in disorder. 

At this point, I could go ahead and blame it on my personality. So, I think I'll do just that!

I'm an "artist" type.. Which is code for "I'm all feely, emotional, crazy, creative, and messy". I like to do a lot, explore a lot, try a lot, and go non-stop, which can leave me frazzled, disorganized, and drained. Just trying to make it through the day.

But, alas!

Such is the life for a creative type like myself.

Dear Models on the Cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition

Hey ladies,

You don't know me and I don't know you. However, you have impacted my life. And I want to let you know.

I'm 24. I live in South Carolina. I have a son who's 7 and a husband who is 28. We are an average family I guess.

I don't know much about you.

I know you're beautiful, on the cover of a magazine, you're pretty tan, you seem happy in the picture, I'm sure you're having a great time...oh! And I also know what your butt cheeks look like. They're pretty, I guess. Very, um fat free? But yes. I know what your rump looks like. All three of you.

Which is strange because I don't know you. Or anything about you. I don't know what your favorite foods are. What you like to do with your free time. Your hopes and dreams. Your cares and fears. Nothing.

3 Ways to Deal with Disappointment

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It's Wednesday and I'm working today. Usually that would be normal, but today, it's very un-normal and very disappointing.

You see, I had taken today off from work to go on a field trip with the little Mr. and due to the rain, it was "postponed".

Even though it was just a field trip, I was looking forward to today. This morning I was singing and woke him up in an annoying way making it apparent that I was WAY more excited for this day than he was.

Now in the car, after getting the word, I tried to talk my son into a peaceful mood before dropping him off for a regular, educational, non-trip-filled school day. I started to think about this thing called disappointment and why we encounter it, and how we can deal with it when it inevitably comes knocking.

Don't Worry About a Ting, Ya!

You know the hardest thing about life?

It's that it is both incredibly good,
and incredibly evil.

Incredibly awesome,
yet horribly flawed.

Full of love and beauty,
yet full of pain and suffering.

It's so wonderful and brings you so much joy,
and yet can make you cry so hard.

I Climbed a Mountain- and I Turned Around

Yesterday I, along with six other women, climbed a mountain. Looking Glass Rock to be exact.



It was exhausting and challenging! 6.4 miles in length. Awesomely fun and definitely something I would recommend.



Any pain we felt trying to get up the mountain was worth it for the view!



You definitely don't realize how small a person actually is until you see mountains like this.



There were fun times had by all. Several stops each way on the trip, since of course, women have to use the bathroom a lot. There was falling, coffee, laughter, music, food, awkward situations that make you laugh, bonding and anything else you can expect to have on a girls trip. It was great!





Thank you to Laura, the fearless leader, who decided to share all of this beauty by inviting us to come on this hike!





I guess this is the part where I introspect about the trip...

It was hard. We moved at a fast pace as there was this mountain lady leading us that climbed like a pro in her fancy boots. I enjoyed challenging my body- since I've been on this new health kick/thing where I actually work out on a regular basis.

There were a lot of times where I didn't want to walk. I just wanted to stop. And take it all in.








It was just all so beautiful. I love beauty in nature. It was also ridiculously quiet! Sometimes it is just nice to get away to a peaceful place. A place untouched by technology and change. Going somewhere where you just feel rugged and connected to the Earth, not so detached and sterile.

On top of the mountain I just couldn't help feeling this feeling... We were describing it as an adrenaline rush/strange sensation of wanting to jump (not in a crazy way, but in an exhilarating way.) The rock slants down and it seems like there isn't much holding you up there.

I think that feeling is just the feeling of being alive. Knowing this is it, you're here. Breathing in and out and knowing that you exist. It feels, like this...

Part of the Rebellion

Last night we finally watched Catching Fire, the second in The Hunger Games movie series. It was totally awesome. To me at least. My husband sat in the corner halfway asleep. Anyways, I couldn't help feeling this ultra surge of girl power and energy rising within me as Katniss essentially helped to begin the rebellion that would liberate the districts from the oppressive power of The Capitol. Something about oppressed people rising up and saying, "HEY! We're not taking this anymore, treat us like human beings!" speaks to me. As I think it does to all of humanity.

We all have the desire to "rise above" or "revolt" against tyranny. Somewhere deep within us is a strong desire to fight for what is right. We may be too afraid to actually do anything, but when we see this attitude illuminated on the big screen, we can't help but love it.

Pushin' Purity

I'm sorry!

No I'm not.

I may seem like the broken record, always going on and on about saving sex for marriage. Nerdy Christian girl with her whacked out ideas!

So sue me.

But I have seen OVER and OVER the devastating effects of pre-marital sex and it is enough to make me realize that there is a serious problem going on all around us and not many people are noticing!

American Atheists Want to Ban Cross from 9/11 Memorial Museum - My Thoughts

http://www.christianpost.com/news/atheists-want-cross-removed-from-ground-zero-museum-52837/

I recently read this article about how the American Atheists have been making stands against religious displays around the country.

This article is mainly about how they do not want to have displayed in the 9/11 Memorial Museum, a cross made of steel beams that was left erect after the world trade center towers fell.

This cross was left standing and was not created or welded. During the time of the search and rescue and after, it was a source of encouragement for people who were a part of that effort.

This One's for the Girls

Today I have a few girls on my heart. I usually do have a few that I think about. The heavy assault on womanhood is apparent as I watch SO many of my loved ones struggle with things. I just felt like writing this today as sort of like a letter from God to me and all women. This is what I feel like I've heard him saying to me throughout my life. It's a little jumbled and hodgepodge, but it's the thoughts I want to get across.
Hopefully you can take something away from these words.

Through the Fog

Existential torture

to be a ship out on the ocean

tossed to and fro.

I feel the weight of nothing

pressing in upon my every thought

and I am crushed underneath.

The anger, the rage

the wasted days

the dizzy daze

the hopeless haze.

This has no purpose

that has no meaning

my thoughts are held captive

my emotions and my dreams

my loves and my pleasures

are dashed upon the rocks

of the world you paint

you dream

you created.

I don't want to be a part of your world anymore.

I can and will break free.

To the place where truth can be.

And I can be

me.

God grant me...

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 

Enjoying one moment at a time; 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life 

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

What I Learned About Greener Grass

The names and identities of people or locations have been purposefully left out of this blog to protect names and identities of people and locations. While I intend this blog to provide satirical humor and enjoyment for the reader, I do not intend to offend anyone. If you know who these people or locations are, please do not mention their names in any comments. Thanks!

I'm an interesting person. At least, I think so. One of the things that makes my life so interesting- to me- is the variety of situations that I have a tendency to get myself into. Take this last six months for example.