50 years

I just had a really neat experience and, it being too long for a status update or a tweet, I figured I would blog it. That makes two blogs in one day! Which means I am on a roll, right?


Anyways,

The church where I work has two members that are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this weekend. The husband asked me to come look at something in the room where they were setting up. As I went to check some stain on the carpet, my eyes were distracted by some old photos. I saw two young people holding hands, looking very different from their current grey-haired selves.


I took a few minutes and took in how special it was.


Then I was led into another room. After inspecting said stain on the carpet, the husband showed me some even older photographs on a table, set up for everyone to see. They were pictures of his parents and her parents, each taken on their 50th wedding anniversary. One picture was even of his parents' parents at their 50th wedding anniversary. "Wow", is what I was thinking. What a legacy to leave behind for your children. The legacy of hard work, sacrifice, and never giving up on a person you love.

As I walked out and went back to my area of the church to finish working, I was brought to tears. Here I am, this young wife, barely even an adult, struggling with the thought of if my marriage will make it to 50 years or not. It is incredibly hard to stay committed to someone when things don't always go your way. Getting married at a young age has taught me so much, but it has put me through a lot also. My husband and I are both committed to staying together, but that doesn't mean there isn't the occasional painful bump.

I just was taken aback and wondered, what kind of people are we these days? Are we still the kind of people who stay committed? Are we the kind who surrender themselves and love selflessly? Can we, can I do that? Marriage is the craziest thing in the world. Telling yourself that regardless of how you feel, you will pursue another's best interest at all cost. Sometimes, it totally goes against the grain. Living for yourself is easy.

Lately I've been looking for purpose. I realized today that even when I feel like I'm a little unsure of what I will do with this life I live I can be certain of a few things.


A. I will live it with and for Jesus Christ.

B. I will strive and seek to be more like him.

C. I will do whatever it takes to see that my son can look back at those pictures and say,

yeah, dad went through a rough patch, or mom sure was crazy.. but look at how they turned out.


Maybe we are just an unfinished book; a painting that has just begun. An artist doesn't throw down his brush after a few strokes if the masterpiece hasn't come together just right. He works on it. Everything beautiful takes time to create.


The actions we make today set us up for our future and the futures of our children. Depending on what you do, you could set your self up for a fifty year anniversary, or a fifty year life sentence to prison. What kind of legacy will we leave? What pictures for our children to see?

The Me I Am VS. the Me I Want to Be

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

Like, there is a you that you want to be, but you aren't that person just yet.

Even Paul said in the bible, Romans 7:15, "I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate." (NLT).

This is a problem that has been around for ages. Lately, I've noticed it an uncomfortable amount in my life. There are things that I want to do and goals I want to achieve, but all of that gives way to my emotions. There truly is a war that rages for our minds. If you let your emotions(which shift and change like the winds blow) control you, you will get rocked around a lot.

This has been something God has been teaching me recently. Yes, I am a woman. Yes, I am emotional (bordering on extremely emotional- I like to call it, "big-heart syndrome"), but I have to be more. I have to take charge- to lead my heart and mind to still waters, and not let them be rocked by whatever happens in my day to day life.

That is why Jesus gave the parable of the man who built his house on solid rock vs. the man who built a house on sand.

Check out Matthew 7:24(NLT)

Building on a Solid Foundation
24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

My translation..

Anyone who hears or reads the word of God and accepts it as truth will have the strength to make it through any trial. When hard times come or they have a horrible day, they will not lose hope, because their hope is not in their earthly circumstances, but in God alone.

It really is a daily fight.

Each day, I have to tell myself I believe in God and his promises. Building my life on those promises takes faith. When my emotions start to rock the ship of my mental well being, I just remind myself who is in control of all things. That's why it's important to memorize scripture, so that when you feel that urge to dive into the sea of self-pity, you can combat that with truth from the bible. That you are made for more. You have a purpose beyond what you can think or imagine.

I also realize that I have to cut myself some slack. There is "no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ"(Romans 8:1). So as I'm on the path to becoming the me I want to be, I have to be patient with myself; I'm only human. I'm trusting that God is using everything I'm going through right now to teach me something and draw me closer to him. I spend time every day trying to get closer to God, to learn more about him, and to follow him more diligently. Creating a deeper and more passionate relationship and giving me more and more motivation to try to spread his love and hope to anyone who needs it.

Calm the Storm

Matthew 8:23-27

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Calms the Storm
23 Then he(Jesus) got into the boat and his disciples followed him.24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

27 The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”
This passage made me realize something this morning as I read it, and I just wanted to share it.

The boat is like my life. I play the role of a disciple, probably Thomas, because I am such a stinkin' skeptic. I'm in it and I know Jesus is with me; the Son of God; God in the flesh. I'm going through a storm and I'm freaking out. I literally sometimes feel like I am going to drown. Jesus (being wiser than I) knows that everything is going to be okay because he knows that we are in the care of our capable heavenly father. I scream out to him, "Jesus! HELLLOOOOOO! What is going on here? I'm dying here! Where are you?"

I think it's interesting that it says Jesus was sleeping. There is literally a tempest going on right next to him, but he is content enough to sleep. We are supposed to live like Jesus and are fully enabled to do so when we accept him into our lives. What an example of faith! To be able to basically sit back, and relax, knowing that we are in the care of a God who made the oceans and can certainly calm them.

He says gently and calmly, "Oh, you of little faith, didn't you know that I was with you the whole time? Don't you know that since I'm with you, everything will all be fine? Why don't you trust me? Why don't you trust me to take care of you no matter how grim the situation looks? Where is your faith in me?"

I know Jesus is with me and he is my helper. I know that I shouldn't worry because God has a master plan for everything and that even the hard times are here for a reason. I know there is beauty and purpose even in the ugliest and stickiest situations. I think it shows how little we trust Jesus when we panic through our trials. He can calm the storm either internally or externally with the flick of his wrist. He is more powerful than any force we can encounter and his word can calm even the toughest internal storm if we take the time to read it and build our lives on it.

I want to frame this scripture passage and hang it on my wall, so that when I go through what I would call a "storm", I will remember that Jesus is with me and will calm it for me if I just have faith in him and trust that he is with me so everything is okay.

What Matters?

What matters the most at the end of the day? The question crossed my mind.

Is it the money I've earned as a result of hard work,

is it the career I've tried so hard to find? Is it whether or not I've got a fat bank account? A car? A nice house? Is it whether I'm successful, popular, liked by all, or famous?

What matters? To me...

Seeing the silliness in the kid's faces and knowing that I can be a mom and sister that allows them to be free and encourages them to be goofs. Helping them know that they are great and worthy of love just as the are. Knowing that I can change who they become by how I treat them.

 Enjoying the simple things like watermelon in the sun on a beach day. Teaching my son to stop and smell the roses.

 Playing. Never being too busy, tired or stressed to take time to play and engage with the people I love. Enjoying every second and living in the moment despite circumstances. That is being free!

Loving the people that God placed in my path with all that I can. Always being willing to give to build them up.

 Being a friend to all. Even when we don't look, feel, or act the same. 

Being a family, even when we don't look or feel perfect. Loving each other in spite of our differences. Not holding each other to preconceived standards that the other can't meet. Just living together and loving, no matter what comes.

Seeing the beauty and wonder in a child's eyes and doing everything I can to feel the same way about life as they do. Realizing that I am God's child and that he delights in me the way the little ones I have delight in my presence. Seeing the beauty in everything. Not having a doom and gloom perspective, but seeing where I can act to make the world better and loving the beauty God put into it.

Making time for family and loving them regardless of time, space, or distance. Being who you are and not trying to be someone else.

 Knowing the God who made you. Spending time with him. Knowing that he wants a relationship with you and partaking in it. Not giving him your leftovers, but giving him all of you. Passionately knowing, loving, and experiencing God and serving in his kingdom

Being who you are and loving others the way they are.

Knowing how totally awesome you are. Regardless of where you came from and what you've done. There is forgiveness and a fresh start in Jesus. You are awesome just as you are because you've been made in the image of an awesome God. Be your own biggest fan, stop doubting yourself and putting yourself down, and know that you are one bad mama jamma.

Taking time to marvel at the world God made. Realize how intricate and complex the world we live in is and know that it's not by accident. Then.. just gaze in amazement.

Being brave! Doing what you never thought possible because you stepped out in faith and tried!

"Forget the fear it's just a crutch that tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust."

-Fireflight, from the song "Unbreakable"

Exploring and trying new things! Even when you feel unprepared!

Being silly! 

Remembering the good times you have together with family and friends, and remembering just how you felt when you look at a picture. 

Being proud of yourself when you accomplish something. 

Knowing where to go for wisdom and knowing where your help comes from!

Laughing and making other's laugh. 

(working out and letting your leg hair grow for three months to take this pic ;) )

These are not the only things that matter in life, but just a few things that are important and special to me that I wanted to take some time to highlight. 

I hope you can relate/ benefit from my thoughts :)