The Me I Am VS. the Me I Want to Be

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

Like, there is a you that you want to be, but you aren't that person just yet.

Even Paul said in the bible, Romans 7:15, "I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate." (NLT).

This is a problem that has been around for ages. Lately, I've noticed it an uncomfortable amount in my life. There are things that I want to do and goals I want to achieve, but all of that gives way to my emotions. There truly is a war that rages for our minds. If you let your emotions(which shift and change like the winds blow) control you, you will get rocked around a lot.

This has been something God has been teaching me recently. Yes, I am a woman. Yes, I am emotional (bordering on extremely emotional- I like to call it, "big-heart syndrome"), but I have to be more. I have to take charge- to lead my heart and mind to still waters, and not let them be rocked by whatever happens in my day to day life.

That is why Jesus gave the parable of the man who built his house on solid rock vs. the man who built a house on sand.

Check out Matthew 7:24(NLT)

Building on a Solid Foundation
24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

My translation..

Anyone who hears or reads the word of God and accepts it as truth will have the strength to make it through any trial. When hard times come or they have a horrible day, they will not lose hope, because their hope is not in their earthly circumstances, but in God alone.

It really is a daily fight.

Each day, I have to tell myself I believe in God and his promises. Building my life on those promises takes faith. When my emotions start to rock the ship of my mental well being, I just remind myself who is in control of all things. That's why it's important to memorize scripture, so that when you feel that urge to dive into the sea of self-pity, you can combat that with truth from the bible. That you are made for more. You have a purpose beyond what you can think or imagine.

I also realize that I have to cut myself some slack. There is "no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ"(Romans 8:1). So as I'm on the path to becoming the me I want to be, I have to be patient with myself; I'm only human. I'm trusting that God is using everything I'm going through right now to teach me something and draw me closer to him. I spend time every day trying to get closer to God, to learn more about him, and to follow him more diligently. Creating a deeper and more passionate relationship and giving me more and more motivation to try to spread his love and hope to anyone who needs it.