What Does it Mean to be a Mother?

Mother's day is fast approaching. My thoughts are drawn to the mothers for whom this will be their first holiday spent without their child. Maybe they passed away, due to illness. Or they've moved away, to start a life on their own in a new city.

And my heart is drawn to the mothers who are facing Mother's Day without their own mother. The sense of profound closure and loneliness that haunts them.

Being a mom. What does it mean? I've been a mom since I was sixteen. For eight years I've been a part of this special group of people called mothers.

I remember when I was sixteen and found out I was pregnant thinking to myself, "I can't be someone's mom!" Even back then I understood the gravity of the situation that many people do not. Being a mother to a child is so much more than just giving birth to them and putting food in their mouths.

Being a mother is...


Being scared at first that you'll hurt them.

Letting them suckle at your breast, even though you know you will probably never see those boobs again and it hurts like sixteen knives stabbing the tip of your nipple. 

Sneaking into their room when they are asleep to check to see if they're still breathing. 

Creating amazing, amazing, little people meals. Only to see them cold on the table or on the walls. 

Reading them stories, even when it's late, because you want them to have a sense of wonder. 

Doing your best to learn who they are and bringing out their gifts and talents, even if they don't like the things you might want them to like. 

Realizing that they will defy, ignore, hurt, embarrass, and disobey you, but that you will still continue to love them. 

The constant thinking of them during the day. Hoping you remembered all of their school supplies or that they are making nice with the other kids. 

Waiting at the bus stop or in the car rider line, and trying to make sure you have the best mood when they see you, no matter how rough your day has been. 

Waking up in the middle of the night to cleanse either them or their bed. Letting them sleep in your bed with you, even though it means their feet in your back. 

Helping them do their homework, even though it might make you feel stupid. 

Letting them play football. Even though it scares the crap out of you. 

Taking the time to really, really teach them life lessons, skills, and morals. Not just sitting them in front of the TV. Digging deep, asking the big questions with them, and engaging with them. 

Motherhood is giving who you are, no matter how broken, to them for their betterment. 

Paying attention to what you do and say in front of them, so they will grow up to be better than you are. 

Being a mother is holding their hands, even when they are covered in random sticky stuff. 

Letting them climb on you, tackle you, and having tickle fights. 

Kissing their sweaty forehead. Smelling their head. Flossing their teeth. Wiping their butt. Holding their barf bag.

Love is giving them hope when you have none. Staying strong about their future even when you are unsure. 

Motherhood is not being sure how much time you've been given with them, and letting your heart break at the thought of that.

Motherhood is picking up the pieces and moving on. It's helping. It's assuming responsibilities no one else would. Like raising a child that isn't yours, but loving them as though they were.

It's a shoulder to cry on. Two arms that will hug you no matter what you've done. A safe place you can run to.

Your mom is your role model, your idol, and who (if you are a woman) you will most likely become one day. 

She teaches you how to love. How to operate. How to exist. 

Being a mom is putting on the brave, happy, face. Even when you feel like crying. Sometimes, you do cry in front of them, and you teach them that life is not always easy. 

Motherhood is constant worry. Constant awareness of them and where they are or what they are doing. 

Trying to give them space as they get older, even when it breaks your heart. 

Motherhood is realizing you only were allowed to have them so you could let them go. 

Motherhood is having your heart on heels or high-tops, walking around in this world. 

Being a mom is the most wonderful feeling and the most painful sensation all at once, because you love something so fragile, so much. 

Being a mom is waking up to a new day. Realizing that our lives and the lives of our children are precious. It's finding them in the house, just to kiss their forehead. 


List what you think motherhood is in the comments!