Pick Up Your Mat And Walk

My morning started out like any other. I woke up and tip toed to the coffee pot downstairs, making careful effort not to wake up my sleeping husband or son and thereby limit my amount of peaceful quiet time for personal reflection. I really love my mornings with my books, coffee, and journal. Most days the second I hit the on button on my machine, I hear two feet hit the floor, followed by seeing the precious face of my little boy, but today, I had a few minutes alone. Knowing I needed to get back in touch with my spirit, I have been reading through the book of John. First I took a few minutes to journal a lot of the feelings and anxieties I was already having at seven in the morning. The list was short but full of strife. I have too many options of what to worry about these days. I let the feelings flow and in about fifteen minutes I had listed my chief complaints with this life and felt like my soul was a little lighter.

     On to the gospel of John. I began reading in chapter five about Jesus healing the sick man at the pool of Bethesda. The pool was thought to have a certain healing power and sick people would lay beside it. When the water would ripple, the first one in was said to receive healing. As Jesus is traveling, he comes across the pool and notices a man who is lying next to it. He has been sick for 38 years.

    I play the scene out in my head, and imagine what it must have been like to be both Jesus and that man. The son of God, the creator, looks out over his creation. He sees many sick people and is moved with compassion. He sees one man in particular that has been sick, for probably most of his life and he is moved to interact with him. The man is in a hopeless state and very much feels like a victim of this life. Jesus asks him a rhetorical question, "do you want to get well?" At that moment, I'm touched. In many ways I feel like a sick man. My heart is sick and I hear the question being directed to me. "Do you want to get well?" The man gives Jesus his sob story. "Of course I do Jesus! But I'm too fat, too slow, too sickly. I can't get in first and there is no one who cares enough to help me!" He is very much feeling sorry for himself, and I honestly can't blame him. Living life with an illness can easily leave you feeling like the world is against you. I hear myself answering the question.

"Jessie, do you want to get well?"

"Yes, Lord, but. I can't get well. I'm too depressed. My marriage is too difficult. I'm trying to parent a child with health issues. Jesus, I'm stressed!"

    Much like the sick man at the pool, we make excuses for why we can't move towards health. Whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual. The next few words from Jesus cut me to the core. He doesn't coddle, he doesn't respond with, "Oh, you poor dear! That must be so difficult. I'll be praying for you!" He simply issues a blunt reply. "Pick up your mat and walk."

"But Jesus, I'm a victim!"

"Pick up your mat and walk."

"But Lord, I can't. I'm sick. It's too hard. I'm afraid. I don't have the strength."

"Pick up your mat and walk."

     In our lives we all end up with a mat to carry. Whether it's an illness, relational battle, mental disabilities, chronic depression, or financial woes, life is hard and no one lives a trouble free existence. It can be our disposition as humans to play the victim and live underneath our circumstances. The weight of them can crush us and leave us crippled, lying on our mats, waiting for someone to come along to save us. Still his answer rings out, "pick up your mat and walk." We need that motivation, that strength, to know that we can face our battles, if only we would get up and do it. Is it easy, no. But nothing will change itself in your life unless you have the courage to change it.